internet infidelity | signs of cheating | infidelity | infidelity

Internet Infidelity at Home?
Here are the Signs of Cheating

Signs of Cheating | Internet InfidelityInternet infidelity is taking its toll on marriages across the nation. The reason Internet infidelity is spreading like wildfire is because it's just so easy to have an affair online and also because so many people (mostly men) really don't see an online affair as being the same thing as physically cheating.

What is Internet Infidelity?

Before personal computers came on the scene in the 1980's, extra-marital affairs were purely physical events. Covering up the signs of cheating required an awful lot of work and advanced planning, including setting up rendezvous points where no one would recognize you and inventing solid excuses and alibis that would stand up to scrutiny by a suspicious spouse. Internet infidelity changed all of this.

Once email, instant messaging, chat rooms and forums became commonplace, people were able to easily - and instantaneously - meet and interact. Complete strangers would share personal stories and intimacies that sometimes their own husbands or wives had never been privy to. A whole new world of internet infidelity opened up, offering the excitement of immediate emotional connection and gratification while ensuring the safety of anonymity by way of user names and aliases. Hence, Internet infidelity was born.

Is Internet Infidelity Really Cheating?

CBS News recently quoted Dr. Joy Browne (a radio talk-show host) as saying that - in her opinion - as long as no body fluids are exchanged, internet infidelity is not really cheating.

Many more people disagree with this definition of cheating, saying that the loss of emotional closeness and trust is what really matters to them, and the fact that nothing physical happened is simply not relevant. An affair is a matter of the heart, not just the body.

What Are The Signs of Cheating?

If you suspect that your spouse is committing what has come to be known as an "Internet infidelity," you should remember that many of the signs of cheating online are similar to those of purely physical affairs (such as emotional withdrawal and lack of physical desire) - and with similarly devastating consequences.

However, there are specific signs of cheating to watch for when you think you're dealing with internet infidelity. These include behavior at the computer itself, such as:

1. A sudden increase of the amount of time your wife or husband spends online, usually attributed to work
2. He or she always seems to quickly change what is on the computer screen when you enter the room
3. Loss of interest in activities other than time spent on the computer

Even something as simple as your partner starting to keep the home office door closed instead of open may be one of the signs of cheating. Although the excuses might ring true (I can't concentrate with the noise of the TV or the kids), it's the cumulative change in all of these behaviors that you need to be aware of.

Steps to Take If You
Suspect Internet Infidelity

If the signs of cheating are beginning to pile up, the first thing to do is to set aside uninterrupted time to speak to your partner and see if there's any chance of an honest discussion about the state of your relationship.

Many times, a cheating spouse will deny everything - and maybe even come up with accusations of his or her own. There are certainly methods (such as software packages that you can download onto your computer) where you can obtain irrefutable proof of internet infidelity, and sometimes this approach can be all that is necessary to open the door to healing your marriage.

For example, if you are able to provide print-outs of incriminating emails or instant messages as proof of signs of cheating, the surprise factor (along with the undeniability of it) might be all it takes to break down his or her defenses and let the rebuilding process begin. It's only the first step on a long path to recovery, but you'll be headed in the right direction.

Get Help for Internet Infidelity in your Relationship

Do you See the Signs of Cheating at Home?
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