relationship breakdown | boyfriend is cheating | girlfriend is cheating | infidelity

Boyfriend is Cheating, Girlfriend is Cheating
Relationship Breakdown Ahead

Boyfriend is Cheating | Girlfriend is Cheating | Relationship BreakdownThe discovery that your girlfriend or boyfriend is cheating on you is typically Reason #1 for a relationship breakdown. Feeling betrayed and heartbroken is normal, but before you create your own "Fatal Attraction" psychodrama, let's be clear about the signs that your boyfriend or girlfriend is cheating.

The Signs Your Girlfriend or Boyfriend is Cheating and
Why a Relationship Breakdown may be in the Works

Relationship Breakdown Symptom #1 - A sudden change in their schedule. This is usually the first sign that your boyfriend or girlfriend is cheating on you and that you're headed for a relationship breakdown. Most people adhere to the same schedule every day, but a sudden shift in routine like working late almost every night, or Saturday meetings popping up out of the blue, may be a sign that your girlfriend or boyfriend is cheating. Even something as simple as a sudden interest in happy hours should at least be seen as a possibility that you're headed for a relationship breakdown.

Relationship Breakdown Symptom #2 - A sudden interest in his or her appearance. If your boyfriend or girlfriend has spent the last several years perfectly happy in baggy sweats and a T-shirt, a sudden and unexpected interest in his or her looks can be another sign of a relationship breakdown. If he now makes going to the gym his biggest priority of the day, or she has to slide into her skinny jeans and best lip plumper before heading out to the grocery store, the reason behind the behavior may be that your boyfriend or girlfriend is cheating.

Relationship Breakdown Symptom #3 - A loss of interest in being intimate with you. Another telltale sign that your girlfriend or boyfriend is cheating and that you're headed toward a relationship breakdown is when their sex drive goes from 60 to 0 without any warning. If you would once describe your girlfriend as a borderline nympho - or your boyfriend as a jackrabbit on steroids - and now you're almost certain that even your parents are having more sex than you, it's very likely that your boyfriend or girlfriend is cheating - or at the very least is seriously considering it. A sudden loss of interest in sex may suggest that you're on a crash course for a relationship breakdown.

Relationship Breakdown Symptom #4 - He or she starts nagging you. If he or she has always been calm and accepting of your quirky little ways, but suddenly you can't seem to even say "hello" without starting an argument, it's a good guess that there's a relationship breakdown on the horizon. A shift in attitude that makes him/her seem more like your mother means your flaws are more obvious now, and they can't help but make you aware of it.

Relationship Breakdown Symptom #5 - Now all of a sudden there are secrets. Whether it's secret calls in another room so that you cannot hear the conversation, secret meetings with a "friend" while you're refused the actual location, or even a secret email account you never knew they had, if your girlfriend or boyfriend is now keeping secrets from you, you can bet they may also be cheating. Secrets between couples are often the main reason for suspicion, and may lead to a relationship breakdown.

Now that we've discussed some of the signs to look for, let's talk about WHY your partner is cheating, and why a relationship breakdown may be brewing.

Five Reasons Your Boyfriend or Girlfriend
is Cheating on You Right Now -

Relationship Breakdown Red Flags

Boyfriend is Cheating | Girlfriend is Cheating | Relationship BreakdownRelationship Breakdown Red Flag #1 The passion in your relationship has fizzled. Both women and men need - and love - fantasy in their sex lives, so if your bedroom behavior has gone from Don Juan DeMarco to something resembling an episode of Everybody Loves Raymond, there's a relationship breakdown ahead.
Boyfriend is Cheating | Girlfriend is Cheating | Relationship BreakdownRelationship Breakdown Red Flag #2 You two are leading separate lives. While no one expects their significant other to maintain their same exact interests, having things in common and heading down similar paths in life will help you avoid a relationship breakdown. If your idea of a great night out is beer-bonging with your buddies at Hooters, and hers is a romantic dinner and a bubble bath, sooner or later something's gotta give. If you're not giving her what she wants and needs at least on a semi-regular basis (and ditto when it comes to pleasing guys) you can bet there's a good possibility that your girlfriend or boyfriend is cheating.
Boyfriend is Cheating | Girlfriend is Cheating | Relationship BreakdownRelationship Breakdown Red Flag #3 She needs a boost in her self-esteem. While every woman loves to hear her boyfriend say that she's beautiful, sometimes it just sounds more convincing when it comes from a perfect stranger. Some women start believing that their boyfriends say the things they do only because they feel that they have to. If your girlfriend already has a low opinion of herself, she may be looking to another man to make her feel better. If she just rolls her eyes when you tell her she's sexy, but seems to be on "cloud 9" when that guy in accounting says it too, you may be on the fast track to a relationship breakdown - and yes, it's possible your girlfriend is cheating.
Boyfriend is Cheating | Girlfriend is Cheating | Relationship BreakdownRelationship Breakdown Red Flag #4 He's looking for a way out. Some guys just don't know how to break up, and would rather look like the "bad person" in the relationship than admit that they're no longer in love. If you've been the best girlfriend in the world but your boyfriend is still eyeing other women, then a relationship breakdown lies ahead. Keep your eyes open. It shouldn't be any surprise that your boyfriend is cheating - and you may be thinking about it too.
Boyfriend is Cheating | Girlfriend is Cheating | Relationship BreakdownRelationship Breakdown Red Flag #5 It's payback time. One of the top reasons your girlfriend is cheating (and you're in the middle of a relationship breakdown too) could be because at one time you cheated on her. While she may have forgiven you for breaking her heart, you can pretty much bet she will never forget it. While mature couples can get past infidelity and move on with the relationship, for some only the sweet taste of revenge will satisfy. So remember, it may be just like Justin Timberlake said, "What goes around, come back around" too. Sometimes, it's just simple math: Boyfriend is cheating = Girlfriend is cheating as well.

Now that you know the signs and the reasons behind cheating, it's time to decide what to do about it. If after hearing the big confession that your girlfriend or boyfriend is cheating, if you would still like to save your relationship, here are a few steps you can take to repair things...

How to Fix a Relationship Breakdown when You've
Confirmed that Your Girlfriend or Boyfriend is Cheating

1. Make a list of any questions you have. For instance you may want to flat-out ask your girlfriend or boyfriend why they're cheating. Is it because of something you could have prevented? Is it just about sex, or is there love for the other person too? Starting the conversation with a clear idea of what you'll discuss may keep the conversation from digressing into name-calling.

2. Conduct a damage assessment. After hearing the answers to your questions, decide how much damage has been done to you as a couple. Can this awful relationship breakdown be repaired? Or will he or she cheat on you again? Can you forgive them for their infidelity? Or will your love never be the same? If you can't even begin to ask these questions, then you're not ready to repair your relationship.

3. Work to restore trust once again. Once the dust has settled and you've both decided to hang in there as a couple, the bond of trust must be built up again. Whether it's asking for access to your girlfriend's or boyfriend's phone records, asking that all personal calls be taken in your presence, or even having a joint email account instead of separate ones, any reasonable requests you make should be granted in an effort to restore trust.

4. You may not be able to forget it, but stop reliving it. Once you've decided to give your relationship another try, you should stop bringing up the past. It's true that some fears may linger every time his or her cell phone rings - but these insecurities on your part do not mean your girlfriend or boyfriend is cheating. If you want to rebuild trust, you must also learn to let go.

To get help repairing your relationship, talk to a Relationship Coach. With a little trust and a whole lot of love, this may be just what you need to move forward. 

Get Help Today if your Boyfriend is Cheating

Talk to a Relationship Coach if your Girlfriend is Cheating

Get Support for your Relationship Breakdown

Return to our Home Page for
More Help Surviving Infidelity

I work with clients worldwide by telephone and your initial consultation is FREE.
To request your free initial coaching call,
 click here to make an appointment.

Relationship help is just a phone call away!

Website Content © 2016 Jay Reiss, M.S.W.
All Rights Reserved

"Thank you so much for the awesome coaching session! I got so much clarity and focus about where I want to go and how to get there. I just got off the phone with my girlfriend and told her about it, and she commented immediately on the excitement in my voice! Truly amazing!"


"I am so blessed to be working with you... Thank you for showing up and shining your light in my direction! Thank you, thank you God."


"You are on FIRE -- EXQUISITE!!! This message is SO powerful, Jay, a vivid portrait of your strength and leadership. WOW. Thank you!!!! I am SO inspired. The timing could not possibly have been more perfect."


"I am in a state of awe and gratitude. I believe it is entirely possible that our conversation last night will prove to be the most pivotal turning point of my life. Above all else, thank you for your honesty."


"You SO go WAY above and beyond the line of duty."


"Jay, Thanks for really being there for me ... I really FEEL you in my corner and I am looking forward to moving into magnificent success!!"


"Jay! WOW! You really are the best! How did I get so lucky to connect with you?!"


"Thank you so much for your kind thoughts. You have such a positive, powerful energy. I am very happy to have had the opportunity to meet you. Mutual support is a rare occurrence. Thank you for that."


"Am eager to report in Wednesday... the impact of that one session has been like I smashed into a house full of dynamite -- WOW. I'm definitely up against the issues that need to be addressed... tough stuff... and brilliant work on your part, JR. Warmest regards and gratitude"


"Hi Jay! I'm still digesting -- and SO much appreciate your phenomenal multi-dimensional support. I laughed so hard today which helped more than anything. What a RANGE you have, my dear."


"Thank you for your loving support Jay... I truly appreciate you..."


"My dear Heaven-Sent Jay, Yet another WONDERFUL session. Again, I feel indescribably blessed. I LOVE the way you synopsize the essence of our meetings -- it's really, really helpful."


"Thank you infinitely for the phenomenal person you are, for your spiritual diligence, and for the unparalleled support you give me."


"I am overflowing with gratitude for your presence/presents in my life. The session with you last night was transformational. Every time we have a conversation, I emerge with even MORE awe and respect for you, for who you are, for what you have already contributed..."


"Great Session!!! Thanks"


"I hope I will get to know you in some way since I have heard such amazing things about you."


"Thank you... and I really do love how you show up in this world. Thank you for standing your ground for the best of the best experience... for all possibility and choosing the utmost. I'm so grateful for your presence in my experience... you let me know that everything is possible."


"Thanks so much. I love how resourceful you are!"


"Great call Jay, I am so impressed at the lightness and trust in this session. You really seemed comfortable with everything that came up and created a deep level of support. You are a powerful coach and ask deep questions. I also appreciate the creative way you express yourself so clearly. Great session."


"Great work today Jay. I am touched by your masterful confidence. Awesome!"


"Thanks Jay! You are so wonderful!!!"