dealing with adultery | caught cheating | surviving infidelity | dealing with infidelity

Someone's been Caught Cheating!
Dealing with Adultery in your Relationship

Caught Cheating | Dealing with Adultery | Get Relationship Help from a Life CoachIf you're the guilty one reading this, then your secret little dance of seduction is over because you've been caught cheating. And if you're the one who's been cheated on, keep reading - because this article will be helpful to you too.

Dealing with adultery is never an easy subject, and you can expect both you and your significant other to experience a whirlwind of emotions ranging from embarrassment to betrayal and humiliation. So the real question at hand is what happens next?

Steps for Dealing with Adultery When You're the One
Who's been Caught Cheating

1. Fess up. The first thing you should do after you've been caught cheating is be honest. You're already dealing with adultery here; please don't make the situation worse by lying or trying to use the ever so popular "It wasn't my fault" excuse.

2. Let your partner vent. When dealing with adultery, communication is key. Unfortunately when you are the one who is caught cheating, the initial communication may be tough to hear. Your partner will likely be angry and hurt and will possibly lash out with words. Even if you do not agree with what they have to say, you must let them declare their feelings. Try to remember, you made this bed so if you've been caught cheating, it's your responsibility to sleep in it.

3. Accept possible defeat. When dealing with adultery, the outcome can go one of two ways; either you will stay together or you will split up. The thing you must understand is that after you've been caught cheating, the ball is no longer in your court. No matter how sorry you are, or how desperately you want another chance, the future of your relationship lies primarily in the hands of your significant other.

Now, what if you are the one who's been cheated on? How do you recover? Can you recover?

Steps for Dealing with Adultery when
You're the One Who's Been Cheated On

1. Don't blame yourself. After your partner is caught cheating, it is not unusual for the person being cheated upon to blame him or herself. You may begin to wonder what you could have done differently to prevent the act. The truth is, it was your partner's decision to cheat. Even if your relationship skills could have used some polishing, you did not force them to cheat and you should not hold yourself accountable for their actions.

2. Take a break… from each other that is. Dealing with adultery can be the emotional equivalent to dealing with death. You will not just feel hurt, you will not just feel angry, you'll feel every emotion imaginable. You may wake up crying and missing your partner, but go to bed angry and wishing you'd never met them. After they've been caught cheating, your partner may beg you to stay and just forgive and forget, but you should make any snap decisions. Instead, take some time to evaluate the situation for yourself.

3. Make a decision. Once you've had time to evaluate the situation and drink down that emotional cocktail, it's time to decide. Can you forgive them? Will you ever be able to erase the image of the day they were caught cheating? To deal with adultery you must have a clear vision of what you want in the future. If you know in your heart you cannot get past this betrayal, there is nothing your head can say to change it.

But if you believe you can salvage your relationship, now is the time when you'll need to start dealing with adultery. Here are just a few of the bumps in the road you may experience, and how to work through them.

Caught Cheating -
What Happens Next

Riding the emotional rollercoaster. One thing that's certain when dealing with adultery is that emotional highs and lows will be plentiful. You may go through periods when you feel completely calm, only to realize a few hours later that you are filled with rage. As for the partner who was caught cheating, you may start off feeling mad at yourself for what you have done, with your feelings eventually shifting to blame or anger towards your significant other. There is no way of knowing which emotion will pop up next, so the best thing to do is work through all of the turbulent feelings together. Communication is the only way to get to the end of this bumpy ride.

Guilt after being caught cheating. Even if you were at your wit's end in your relationship, when you're in the midst of dealing with adultery you're bound to feel guilty. Hurting the person you are supposed to love the most - even if unintentional - can way heavy on the heart. While you must accept the fact that you are to blame here, spending a lifetime hating yourself won't eradicate what's already happened.

Caught Cheating -
Disappointment and Revenge

Disappointment with your partner when dealing with adultery. After the rage... the tears... after the feelings of betrayal have passed, you will mostly feel disappointed. You may wonder how he or she could have done this to you, or why they didn't believe in your relationship enough to know better. You may even relive the moment they were caught cheating and be disappointed in yourself for not handling things differently. The thing to remember here is that disappointment is a normal reaction. People tend to have high expectations of their relationships. When they fail in any sense, it can be a surprising shock to the system.

Should "an eye for an eye" apply here? For many people dealing with adultery, the only way to make a fresh start is by evening the playing field. Some people cannot just forgive and forget, and they want the person who was caught cheating to experience the same emotions they've been going through. While revenge may seem like a good idea in the beginning, two wrongs do not make a right. You will only be left with more regret, more emotions to deal with, and even less trust to build on in your relationship. If you cannot get past your desire for revenge, then it's definitely time to leave this relationship behind you.

Caught Cheating -
Can You Save Your Relationship?

Is it over now? Will things ever be the same? The answer to both questions truly depends on the couple. When dealing with adultery it takes both the person who was caught cheating, and the person who was cheated on, to work equally as partners in repairing the relationship. If both people are still in love and want to make things work, then the chances that things will work are greatly improved. As far as things ever "being the same," it will certainly take time but eventually your relationship can get back on track. In some instances, couples have found that their relationship grew even stronger after dealing with adultery.

If you've been caught cheating - or have been betrayed by infidelity and are dealing with adultery in your relationship, talking to a Life Coach may help. A third party who can monitor the situation and keep things headed in a positive direction is a great step towards repairing your relationship.

Get Help when You or Your Partner
Have been Caught Cheating

Talk to a Coach about Dealing with Adultery

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